Magazines
ADVICE: AUNTIE AGNI
Dear Auntie,
I am currently facing a hugely confusing situation. I like a guy and we plan to get married soon, but my mother doesn’t like him a lot because he doesn’t earn enough.
Another issue is that, while we get along well, both of us have a dominant nature. This often results in arguments which, at times, result in shouting encounters, followed by long spells of virtually no communication between us. Sometimes, when we’re having these arguments, my mother often overhears and tries to convince me to leave him for good.
I am scared that, even though I like him, what if we split up after getting married? Then my family may not support me and I will be left on my own to deal with the situation.
Auntie, please advise what I should do. I don’t want to leave him but, at the same time, I am scared of the repercussions if things turn ugly. It’s pertinent to mention that he has a stable career with a sound future, and I am also a working girl though, once we’re married, I want him to be the primary breadwinner.
Regards,
Confused Girl
‘Should I Risk Marriage Without My Family’s Support?’
Dear Confused Girl,
Let’s keep this super simple. You are trying to make a lifelong decision while standing in the middle of chaos.
The most important thing to know is that your fights matter. Frequent shouting matches and long silences are red flags. Before talking marriage, the two of you need to learn how to argue, without hurting each other. If both of you are domineering personalities, then you both need to learn compromise and communication. If he isn’t willing to work on this with you now, it will not magically happen after you get married.
The second important thing is your mother’s concerns about his income. Yes, income isn’t everything, but it also isn’t nothing. Financial stress destroys relationships. You both need a realistic plan for finances, especially since you want him to be the main breadwinner.
Thirdly, never marry someone out of fear, such as the fear of losing him or the fear of facing your family if it ends. Marry because the relationship feels right and, most importantly, is respectful. Trust me, respect is more important than love in a marriage.
What you should do right now is simple. Tell him you want to work on communication together. You want calmer disagreements, better boundaries with families and a financial plan. See what he says. His response will tell you more than anything else.
And please remember: your family should never “disown” you for a marriage decision. But you also shouldn’t put yourself in a situation where you’ll need rescuing later.
Take your time and think this through before moving forward.
Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in crisis and/or feeling suicidal, please go to your nearest emergency room and seek medical help immediately.
Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to: auntieagni@gmail.com
Published in Dawn, EOS, November 30th, 2025
Magazines
Story time : What steals our joy
It was Friday when the teacher announced a test that would be held on Monday. Bisma made sure she studied and learnt everything for it.
On Monday, the teacher handed out the test sheets. Bisma, along with the rest of the class, completed the test. Most students felt optimistic about their results. However, Bisma was a bit overconfident.
The next day, when the marked test papers came back, Bisma was happy to see she had scored 17 out of 20, until she heard that one of her classmates had scored 19.
This made Bisma feel a bit uneasy. She had thought she was the topper, but hearing someone else had scored higher took away her joy. She began to doubt herself and her abilities, thinking she hadn’t worked hard enough or wasn’t good enough.
Days passed, but the thought continued to bother her. A few days later, the school announced a speech competition. Despite her insecurities, Bisma prepared for it. On the day of the competition, when her name was called, she went on stage and delivered her speech. But as she came down, she didn’t feel satisfied. Her unease grew as she listened to other students’ speeches. She began finding non-existent flaws in her own performance, thinking her accent wasn’t perfect and her pronunciation wasn’t good enough.
After the competition, there was a snack break. Bisma took her lunch, sat down, and started eating half-heartedly.
Zehra, her friend, noticed the sad look on her face, walked up to her, and asked with concern, “Hey Bisma, what’s up? You look sad. Is everything okay?”
Bisma snapped out of her thoughts and tried to smile bravely. “Yeah, everything’s okay.”
“Are you sure? You know you can share anything with me,” Zehra said gently.
Bisma sighed. “I feel like a failure.”
“What!? Why?” Zehra asked, surprised.
“Because every time I do something, I never seem to get it right. I don’t know why. I try so hard, but still, I always mess something up while others do so much better. Like that test — I studied so hard for it, but I only got 17 marks while others got 19. And that speech today? It was a complete disaster! Others were far better than me,” Bisma bemoaned.
Zehra patiently listened and then said, “Bisma, I think you did a great job in that speech. And about that test, you worked so hard and got good marks. Don’t you remember that all our other classmates, including me, got marks below 15? What you’re doing right now is comparing yourself to others. Haven’t you heard that famous quote, ‘Comparison is the thief of joy’?”
Bisma frowned a little. “Umm… no, I don’t think so.”
Zehra smiled. “It means that when you compare yourself to others, it ruins your happiness and makes you doubt your own hard work. The only person you should compare yourself with is your past self. Tell me, did you deliver this speech better than your last one?”
Bisma thought for a moment and said, “Yes.”
“Exactly,” said Zehra. “You shouldn’t compare yourself to others but to yourself. If you did better, be proud of yourself. And if you didn’t, don’t be too hard on yourself — just try to do better next time.”
Bisma listened to her friend and understood her mistake. Gradually, she started feeling proud of her small achievements, and that helped her become genuinely happy for others.
Published in Dawn, Young World, December 13th, 2025
Magazines
Cook-it-yourself : Mug chocolate dream cake
Chocolate is amongst the richest and most decadent ingredients around. It can be found in all sorts of baked goods, and ranges from smooth, creamy milk chocolate to bittersweet dark chocolate.
But what if you don’t have the time to concoct a complex dessert? Luckily for you, this recipe requires only a microwave and a few pantry staples to be served.
With the dream cake trend, you might have wondered if there was an easier way to enjoy it, in the comfort of your home. Well, find out with this easy-to-follow recipe, which takes minutes.
This single-serve treat will meet all your chocolate cravings, combining a soft, fluffy sponge layer with a hard chocolate top to give the perfect balance of textures.
Ingredients
For the cake:
8 chocolate biscuits
50ml warm milk
1/4 tsp baking soda
For the ganache:
50g chocolate
50ml warm milk
Method
In a greased, microwave-safe ramekin, crush biscuits. Add milk and baking soda and stir.
Microwave on low for 90-120 seconds or until a skewer inserted in the centre comes out clean. In another bowl, melt the chocolate using the microwave.
Add milk and stir continuously until your desired consistency is reached.
Pour the chocolate ganache over the cooled cake.
Drizzle melted chocolate on top and freeze for 2-3 minutes or until the chocolate is set.
Finally, crack the top and enjoy! n
Published in Dawn, Young World, December 13th, 2025
Magazines
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