Magazines
ADVICE: AUNTIE AGNI – Newspaper
Hi Auntie,
I am writing with a lingering confusion about a connection from my university days that still troubles me.
Nearly eight years ago, during our first semester, I met a student in a shared course and we soon developed a close academic friendship. Over four years, we studied together, formed teams, participated in competitions and supported each other. We also talked about our personal lives.
I have always been a somewhat literary, playful person, often expressing myself through sarcasm and poetry. I sometimes wrote verses for her, which she seemed to appreciate. There were moments when it felt as if she subtly encouraged me to express deeper feelings, though she also maintained that whatever this bond was, it should remain within some limits.
Like many close friendships, ours had misunderstandings and temporary fallouts. We even blocked and unblocked each other a few times, but somehow returned to our companionship.
After graduation, we entered our professional lives and stayed in touch online. About a year later, I realised my feelings had deepened and I began expressing them more openly. She responded with sarcasm and never clearly accepted or rejected my feelings.
‘Should I Apologise Now For Crossing A Line In The Past?’
Then one day, during an Eid conversation, I repeatedly asked her to share a picture as an Eid gift. She declined jokingly, but I kept insisting. Suddenly, she blocked me on WhatsApp. I felt as though I had unknowingly crossed a line and appeared disrespectful. Hurt and embarrassed, I reacted by blocking her everywhere else and cutting off all contact.
It has now been a year. I recently learned she has gone abroad for higher studies. Although I am doing well professionally, I often feel guilty and wonder if I should apologise for my persistence that day.
Now I’m confused, should I send a simple apology to clear my conscience, or let the past remain where it ended.
Mr Confused
Dear Mr Confused,
You have spent a long time thinking about one moment.
It seems like the two of you had a genuine friendship but it also sounds like you and she were not on the same page. You developed feelings while she was comfortable keeping things within limits.
Such friendships are lopsided. One person begins hoping for more while the other keeps things exactly where they are. Over time, even small things like your Eid conversation can feel different to the person who is already uncomfortable.
Your persistence about the photo made her uncomfortable and she chose to draw a line. It could be that her discomfort was building up but she hadn’t expressed it. Once she blocked you, you did the right thing by stepping back. You did not become a harasser.
As for whether you should apologise, the answer depends on what you are trying to achieve. If you truly feel you made her uncomfortable and would like to acknowledge that, you could send her a message but only if you don’t ask for anything in return. No request for explanation and no expectation of a reply. Just a simple apology. At the same time, it is also okay to leave things as they are. Every relationship doesn’t need a closing conversation.
For now, you need to stop dwelling on this. So, you were a young man who developed feelings for a classmate. That is not a crime. The real task now is to leave this in the past and allow yourself to move forward without guilt.
Published in Dawn, EOS, May 15th, 2024
Magazines
LITBUZZ: ‘TELL US YOUR TRUTH’
The Zeenat Haroon Rashid Writing Prize for Women calls for women writers to submit for its 2026 competition. The competition serves as a beacon of encouragement for Pakistani women writers both at home and in the diaspora, and carries a cash award of Rs100,000.
In 2026, the call for submissions is for NON-FICTION. Contestants are invited to submit entries in the form of a narrative, polemical or satirical essay, memoir, biography or travelogue on any subject or theme that uses Pakistan as a canvas or location and focuses on the country’s culture and society.
Entries open on April 1 and close on June 30. The competition is open to all women of Pakistani nationality or Pakistani heritage over the age of 18 and, as always, the judges will be looking for writing with a distinct voice.
This year the panel of judges once again features eminent figures in the literary landscape:
• Sanam Maher is a journalist from Karachi. Her book, A Woman Like Her: The Short Life of Qandeel Baloch (Bloomsbury 2019) was named one of the best books of the year by The New York Times and The New Yorker. Her work has appeared in Dawn, The New York Times, The Guardian, BBC and Al Jazeera, among other media. Since 2020, she has been a mentor for South Asia Speaks, a literary incubator for young writers in the region.
• Noreen Masud is an Associate Professor in English Literature at the University of Bristol, and an AHRC/BBC New Generation Thinker. Her memoir-travelogue, A Flat Place (Penguin 2023), was shortlisted for The Women’s Prize for Non-Fiction, The Sunday Times Charlotte Aitken Trust Young Writer of the Year Award, The Jhalak Prize, The RSL Ondaatje Prize and the Books Are My Bag Readers Awards.
• Sameer Rahim is a British novelist, critic and publisher with nearly two decades of experience in literary journalism. He has held editorial roles at publications including The London Review of Books, The Daily Telegraph, and Prospect magazine, and is currently publisher at The Bridge Street Press, a non-fiction imprint of Little, Brown (Hachette). Rahim has also served as a judge for several literary awards, including the Forward Prize for Poetry, the Orwell Prize for Political Writing, the Costa Poetry Award, and the 2020 Booker Prize. Rahim’s novel Asghar and Zahra (John Murray, 2019) received critical acclaim and was longlisted for the Desmond Elliott Prize.
Full details on how to enter and comprehensive competition rules can be found on the website
www.zhrwritingprize.com
For media enquiries please write to info@zhrwritingprize.com
Published in Dawn, Books & Authors, March 29th, 2026
Magazines
NON-FICTION: LANGUAGES WITHOUT BORDERS
Zubaan Aur Tehzeeb
By Safdar Rasheed
Sang-e-Meel Publications
ISBN: 978-969-35-3716-1
311pp.
Zubaan Aur Tehzeeb [Language and Civilisation] is a recent book by Dr Safdar Rasheed, an author and researcher on language and culture, which is based on a series of discussions that Dr Rasheed held during his post-doctoral stay at Heidelberg University in Germany.
Instead of relying only on documents and archives when writing the book, he also spoke to European and South Asian scholars, teachers and writers on language, culture and education. Urdu, Hindi and Sanskrit are Dr Rasheed’s main interests, but there are dialogues in the book on Bengali, Tamil and Nepali as well. Through these, he explores these languages’ history, shared roots, conflicts and their links with religion and the nation. He also looks at their present condition.
One strength of the book is Dr Rasheed’s method of writing. He does not dominate the discussions. He simply asks questions and lets the other person speak freely. This makes the book more open and diverse in tone.
The first dialogue with Dr Anand Mishra, who became associated with Heidelberg University’s Department of Cultural and Religious History in 2009, concerns Sanskrit. It challenges the common view that Sanskrit was the language of only Brahmins. We learn that it once served as a “cosmopolitan” language across South Asia, written in various scripts and used in many regions. The discussion offers an overview of Sanskrit’s evolution, from an oral to a written tradition and traces it to South Asia’s oldest intellectual history.
Through a series of dialogues with scholars, a recent Urdu book examines language, identity and culture across South Asia and Europe
As an elite language Sanskrit was used by educated and scholarly groups for intellectual, religious and literary purposes. At the same time, it functioned as a lingua franca among people across different religions. So Dr Mishra says, people from the north of India could communicate with South Indians through Sanskrit. He also notes that much of South Asia’s ancient literature, including philosophical and scientific texts, is preserved in Sanskrit, making it one of the richest classical traditions in the world. Dr Mishra further explains that many modern South Asian languages emerged from, or were deeply influenced by, Sanskrit. Therefore, he describes them as tributaries of a larger linguistic river that is Sanskrit.
Finally, the discussion connects language to identity, culture and learning in the present day. Dr Mishra stresses that studying multiple languages helps uncover shared histories and encourages cultural exchange rather than division. Therefore, languages should not be seen as enemies.
The Urdu-Hindi conflict is not a conflict and shouldn’t be a matter of concern. The actual concern, he warns, is the English language and Americanisation, which is being spread in the name of so-called “globalisation”.
The most important dialogue in the context of today’s South Asia is with Dr Pankaj Prashar, associate professor of Hindi at Aligarh Muslim University. Here, the focus is on Urdu and Hindi and Dr Prashar’s main aim is to highlight the shared past of these two languages. Instead of stressing their differences, he emphasises their similarities. According to him, insisting too much on difference only feeds conflicts related to identity, which we already see taking place on both sides of the border, especially in India.
Dr Prashar argues that many Pakistanis hold mistaken views about India, which, he says, can only be corrected by learning more about the country and engaging directly with its people. He challenges the common belief that Urdu is neglected in India. Instead, more work on the language is being done there than in Pakistan, both today and historically. Urdu, he points out, continues to be recognised as a state language in parts of India.
Dr Prashar recalls that the first Urdu printing press was set up before Partition by a Hindu publisher, Munshi Nawal Kishore. He also points to the long tradition of Hindu writers and poets who contributed to Urdu literature, including Firaq Gorakhpuri (Raghupati Sahay), Jagan Nath Azad, Kali Das Gupta Raza, Rajinder Singh Bedi and Krishan Chander.
He further highlights the widespread use of Urdu in Hindi cinema, particularly in film songs. The author also praises the contributions of Sanjiv Saraf who, through the Rekhta Foundation that he founded, is serving Urdu on an international level.
He says that the Urdu-Hindi conflict is not a conflict and shouldn’t be a matter of concern. The actual concern, he warns, is the English language and Americanisation, which is being spread in the name of so-called “globalisation”.
English, he argues, is slowly taking over not only Urdu and Hindi but almost all South Asian languages. It appears to unite people but, in reality, it is pushing local languages to the side. This, he says, is a new kind of linguistic colonialism. It does not come with soldiers or flags, but with jobs, education, status and power.
He also says that this is not only a South Asian problem. In Europe, too, English is becoming dominant. Where there was once curiosity about different cultures, there is now a rush towards English because it means global access, jobs and mobility.
The book also connects this language shift to modern life, in which language has largely become a tool, not a ‘home’. People choose the language that gives them the most advantage, not the one that carries their memories or their histories.
Although Sanskit, Urdu and Hindi remain the main focus of the book, other dialogues discuss Nepali, Bengali and Tamil in South Asia and how they are taught in Europe, while others focus on language education in Europe, postdoctoral research systems, and the experiences of migrants.
The book is not a heavy theoretical work. And this is what makes it an accessible read for those who are interested in South Asian languages and their relationship with Europe. For students, teachers and general readers alike, it offers a calm but serious look at where our languages are going and what we might lose if we stop caring about them.
The reviewer is a member of staff.
X: WaqasAliRanjha
Published in Dawn, Books & Authors, March 29th, 2026
Magazines
FICTION: FRIENDS AND DOUBTS
My Friend Maya
By Amber Zaffar Khan
Lightstone Publishers
ISBN: 978-969-716-311-3
239pp.
The title of the novel, My Friend Maya, seemed appealing, and the book seemed like an easy read, full of good times spent between two friends, laughter and mirth. But that wouldn’t make for a captivating story, and let the book pass as ordinary.
No wonder then, contrary to my first impression, the plot of My Friend Maya is, in fact, quite complex, as it explores themes such as narcissism, mental illness and substance abuse.
The author of the book, Amber Zaffar Khan, is an Abu Dhabi-based Pakistani art, culture and literature enthusiast and promoter, who began her literary career with a non-fiction essay, ‘Ordinary Lives’, in the anthology Home #itscomplicated. From Abu Dhabi, where she has been living for the last 23 years, she runs a successful book club with like-minded, literature-loving ladies that offers a collaborative space for sharing and discussing literary interests. My Friend Maya is her debut novel.
The story centres on the complex friendship between two friends who cross paths in their 20s, after they briefly interacted in college. They are opposite in nature — Maya is adventurous and feisty, with a rebellious approach to life, while Sehar is cool and practical and lives her life according to a strict moral and ethical code.
A debut novel tells the tale of a complex friendship between two young women while also exploring themes such as narcissism, mental illness and substance abuse
While most people in Sehar’s circle who meet Maya find something disturbing in her eyes, Sehar accepts this as just one of her characteristics. She even ignores people’s advice to be careful, despite acknowledging that “in her eyes there was an underlying fierceness and something unsettling about their gaze that discouraged prolonged eye contact, as if they invoked a subtle kind of terror.”
However, over time, their relationship is tested, and the close bond they initially formed evolves into a tumultuous one. Sehar, a steadfast loyalist, who is very kind towards Maya, realises that there is more to Maya than her charming exterior. As the story progresses and more and more facets of Maya’s personality and life are revealed, Sehar begins to question some of Maya’s actions. She is at a loss when it comes to understanding Maya’s behaviour and looks for excuses to justify her actions, though in her heart she is perplexed and not at ease.
With time, she begins to re-evaluate her place in this friendship; she struggles to cope with Maya’s erratic behaviour and constant demands for attention and time, and she continuously analyses the dynamics between them but finds it difficult to reach a clear answer. Later, she is left wondering: “Four years wasted on the belief that I was her unflinching anchor, supporting her through her darkest hours, blind to the fact that she was orchestrating a web of deceit to keep me tethered to her. How foolish I had been to think I was her saviour, her confidante, while she played the victim.”
Even when Sehar learns that her friend is suffering from a mental illness, she is at a loss to understand her behaviour. She realises that “Mental illness could alter perception and behaviour in inexplicable ways.” Yet, she has her doubts: “Was … mental illness… a genuine cause of her unstable behaviour, where the individual loses command over their thoughts and actions? Or were all the manipulations, lies and deceit also part of her personality, just compounded by her illness?”
This thought-provoking book explores the themes of psychological disorder, emotional manipulation and the human tendency for prejudice and domination, which often overlap and can profoundly damage interpersonal relations and the mental health of a person, often causing the victims to suffer from anxiety, depression and loss of self-worth.
It also addresses social taboos surrounding mental health, as well as the lack of awareness about — and understanding of — mental health problems, due to which it is difficult for people to detect if someone in the family or their circle of friends is suffering from a mental ailment. This sometimes results in the affected person’s condition deteriorating, and it is usually detected after too much water has flown under the bridge.
Furthermore, even if one realises there is a problem, seeking treatment can be difficult, due to the stigma attached to it. However, there is always hope for those who seek treatment, as when detected early and if the patient is surrounded by loving family and friends, the outcome can be positive.
Along with the relationship between the two friends, we read about issues in Sehar’s personal life — her family and her love life — which unfold as the story progresses and affect it at times. For instance, when her mother is hospitalised, Maya supports Sehar and stays overnight at her place so Sehar is not lonely. For this, Sehar feels deeply indebted to Maya for a long time, which may be another reason for her turning a blind eye or failing to see the reality of Maya’s mental state.
The reader gets a glimpse of Karachi of the mid-1980s and early 1990s through the eyes of young girls. For example, Sehar, while describing her college days in the mid-1980s, writes: “Those were simpler times; entertainment was simple and cost effective, and we were carefree youths indulging in innocent, innocuous frivolities”, such as playing badminton and throwball…; “other times just getting together and watching Top of the Pops on the VCR, or listening to music would make our day.” Readers who grew up during this time period are sure to feel nostalgic when reading such passages and will relate to them.
The book also touches on social norms now and then, the challenges faced by women of that era, the pressure to marry and the appropriate age for marriage — “Societal ethos of that era deemed that age [mid-20s] marriageable for girls” — and class consciousness. The friends, at one stage, openly discuss class differences and the characteristics that mark one as belonging to one class or another, and whether class differences affect one’s decisions, especially when choosing a life partner.
Though the book deals with some serious issues, it is a real page-turner, and the reader finds it difficult to put down, as the events in the girls’, especially Maya’s, lives keep the reader engrossed in the friends’ complex story that moves with twists and turns and keeps the reader guessing at what happens next.
The reviewer is a freelance journalist.
X: @naqviriz
Published in Dawn, Books & Authors, March 29th, 2026
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