Dear Auntie,
I am currently facing a hugely confusing situation. I like a guy and we plan to get married soon, but my mother doesn’t like him a lot because he doesn’t earn enough.

Another issue is that, while we get along well, both of us have a dominant nature. This often results in arguments which, at times, result in shouting encounters, followed by long spells of virtually no communication between us. Sometimes, when we’re having these arguments, my mother often overhears and tries to convince me to leave him for good.

I am scared that, even though I like him, what if we split up after getting married? Then my family may not support me and I will be left on my own to deal with the situation. 

Auntie, please advise what I should do. I don’t want to leave him but, at the same time, I am scared of the repercussions if things turn ugly. It’s pertinent to mention that he has a stable career with a sound future, and I am also a working girl though, once we’re married, I want him to be the primary breadwinner.
Regards,
Confused Girl

‘Should I Risk Marriage Without My Family’s Support?’

Dear Confused Girl,
Let’s keep this super simple. You are trying to make a lifelong decision while standing in the middle of chaos. 

The most important thing to know is that your fights matter. Frequent shouting matches and long silences are red flags. Before talking marriage, the two of you need to learn how to argue, without hurting each other. If both of you are domineering personalities, then you both need to learn compromise and communication. If he isn’t willing to work on this with you now, it will not magically happen after you get married.

The second important thing is your mother’s concerns about his income. Yes, income isn’t everything, but it also isn’t nothing. Financial stress destroys relationships. You both need a realistic plan for finances, especially since you want him to be the main breadwinner.

Thirdly, never marry someone out of fear, such as the fear of losing him or the fear of facing your family if it ends. Marry because the relationship feels right and, most importantly, is respectful. Trust me, respect is more important than love in a marriage.

What you should do right now is simple. Tell him you want to work on communication together. You want calmer disagreements, better boundaries with families and a financial plan. See what he says. His response will tell you more than anything else.

And please remember: your family should never “disown” you for a marriage decision. But you also shouldn’t put yourself in a situation where you’ll need rescuing later.

Take your time and think this through before moving forward.

Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in crisis and/or feeling suicidal, please go to your nearest emergency room and seek medical help immediately.

Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to: auntieagni@gmail.com

Published in Dawn, EOS, November 30th, 2025

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“What is a constitution? A constitution is an avenue. It is often located in a federal capital. It goes from left to right and north to south. You can drive over it with ease anytime you want. It is protected on either side by footpaths that are regularly trod upon by citizenry who cannot afford motorised means of transport. It is surrounded by enormous buildings of legislation, justice and diplomacy.

“It is only important for those individuals who have nothing to do. For men of action and consequence, it is nothing more than a hindrance. It hinders them and, in turn, they hinder it right back, because men of action do not take crap from anyone or anything.

“We must all learn to be men of action… especially the women amongst us.”

— Industrialist, Politician and WhatsApp Man of Letters Jimmy Jirga, to his 12-year-old son, Pherause Caan

“Ipso facto, a constitution is a document of great import. However, should the judiciary deem it otherwise, it can also assume the shape of an obstreperous obstacle, which must be placed within such constraints as found necessary by their lordships, commanders of the judicial galaxy and masters of all they survey.

“As a document, it is merely a set of rules and regulations that have been agreed upon by a group of beautifully fragranced individuals. These laws do not necessarily apply to this group, unless said laws are in a position to benefit said individuals. The regulations laid therein also have no impact upon the state of non-humans and inanimate objects within the republic.

“However, like a well-oiled corporate entity, every country must bear the burden of a constitution, if it is to exist in today’s modern world. This has become necessary due to the world being run mostly by socialist feminist transgenders, placed in positions of power and prestige by the deep state, in order to wreak havoc over the world that has been so painstakingly created by wealthy but powerless, strong but weak, unaccountable but selfless, affluent, heterosexual men, who have been blessed with all the knowledge that is contained in — to quote the late, great Peter Cook — “the universe and all that surrounds it.”

“As a member of the Supremes, I am given the opportunity to interpret the constitution any which way I wish. I am also blessed with the ability to uphold my judicial principles at my convenience and pass judgements, wind and water, as and when I desire.

“Ergo, it is something that plays an important part in my life, despite trying my best not to let it. But it gives me a pension. And free post-retirement travel. And pays for my utilities. And security. And a staff member or two. And also, I get to keep the gown even when I am no longer part of the Supremes. So, there is that.”

— Legal Eagle and Member of the Supremes Justice Ifti 2.0, addressing members at the Supreme Court Bar Association

 “What is a constitution, you ask? I swear upon it and at it. It is nothing but a piece of paper, which I can tear and throw in the dustbin if I so desire. I like its malleability, as it can be easily suspended, amended and even held in abeyance at a distance if it smells foul (which it often does). It is an impediment to efficient ruling, but does have the ability to make one immune. And that is not such a bad thing in times like these, where all kinds of strange, democratic viruses are rife.”

— Brig (forcibly retd) Babar ‘Bobby’ Niazi, in the recently released documentary Dinner With An Autocratic Babydoll

“A constitution is a waste of time. It has things in it which make no sense. I am told it can be changed. But then, why put something in it that would have to be changed later? This kind of thinking never happens in the corporate world. Evil people use it to run their evil system. That is why leaders like me are sent by the gods to take down the system from within.

“I will do whatever it is in my power to do whatever it is in my power. This is what being a billionaire means. It also means that any document that provides rights to those who don’t deserve them (ie non-billionaires) must be shamed, ridiculed, mocked, made redundant and, subsequently, officially destroyed. It is the least I can do for my followers.”

— Businessman, Politician and Cliftonian Emblem of Masculinity and Erudition Doland J. Drumpf, in a special edition of Forbes 80 under 80.

“Men are not robots and robots need no constitution, just programming. When it works for me, then fine, I say, keep it. But when it stops working, throw it away like a bottle top before they catch you!”

— Cliftonian Messiah, Saviour and Intellectual Pin-up National Icon&Hope Nazir Jr, in Vogue Cliftonia

Farid Alvie was born. He currently lives.
He’s on Instagram @faridalvie

Published in Dawn, EOS, November 30th, 2025

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As Lahore continues to bloom with art exhibitions in October and November, the city increasingly feels like a vast, ever-expanding art gallery.

Amidst this creative momentum, the National College of Arts (NCA) in Lahore organised its first-ever Triennale — an expansive platform that brought together artistic voices from across Pakistan and around the globe. The scope of the event extends beyond exhibitions, as it is supporting workshops, residencies, performances and public interactions, in order to build a vibrant visual dialogue shaped by multiple perspectives.

I had the privilege of attending the inauguration ceremony and, the following day, I interviewed Professor Dr Murtaza Jafri, Vice Chancellor of NCA, to discuss his vision behind curating and executing an event of such magnitude — one that also marked 150 years of the institution’s legacy and artistic excellence. In Jafri’s words, it was “a dream that finally found its form.”

Though organised in only three months, and not without a few minor gaps, the event’s substantial community impact far outweighed any shortcomings. Open calls were announced for national and international artists to present their work under the theme “Kasb-i-Kamal Kun”, a Persian/Urdu phrase meaning “Make excellence your pursuit.” The theme also paid homage to the historic legacy of the Mayo School of Arts, where artists were celebrated for their craftsmanship and pursuit of excellence.

Lahore’s NCA Triennale was a sumptuous celebration of Pakistan’s rich artistic past and present

The platform embraced works from the Mayo School archives/old masters, alongside contributions from alumni, emerging artists, recent graduates, students and even independent creators who lacked access to formal exhibition spaces. Twenty-two international artists participated, including one from Palestine, Mohammad Al Hawajri.

Ten workshops were conducted prior to the Triennale, offering students and young practitioners valuable opportunities to learn from global experts. It stood as a powerful example of community engagement — bridging borders, celebrating diversity and bringing creative minds together for dialogue and collective inspiration.

Moving on to the works displayed — the Zahoorul Akhlaq Gallery, along with contemporary artists, presented archival pieces by Lahore’s old masters: Ustad Bashir ud Din, Salima Hashmi, Sabir Nazar, Mohammad Asif, Khalid Iqbal, Shakir Ali, Masood Hameed, Zahoorul Akhlaq, Ijaz Hassan, Saeed Akhtar, Aijaz Hassan, Ghulam Mustafa, Iqbal Hussain, Nazish Ataullah, Zulfiqar Zulfi, Mohammad Javed and Nayyar Ali Dada.

‘Kitab Ghar’ presents works by 66 illustrators, curated by the British Museum’s curator Venetia Porter. The display features book covers created for renowned writers by artists such as Imran Qureshi, Ali Kazim, Sarah Mumtaz, Saeed Akhtar, Safia Khan, Maryam Bani Asadi and Murtaza Jafri, among others.

Rashid Rana’s site-specific installation titled Everything and Nothing, executed in inkjet print on vinyl, unfolds like a vast visual archive — a library of books woven in a minute scale. The work reflects on stories once significant but now forgotten on the shelves. Composed of hundreds of pixelated Renaissance images, it probes how history, art and technology intersect.

At the top of ‘Kitab Ghar’, Imran Qureshi’s canvases embody the expressive act of flinging pigment on to large surfaces, transforming abstraction into storytelling. His compositions unfold like metaphoric landscapes — gardens evolving under the shadow of political unrest and pervasive violence. Suspended in time, these works capture silent movements and shifting characters, offering a meditation on fragility and resilience.

Hamra Abbas’ miniature portraits impress with their precision at such a small scale. Usman Saeed’s Saira Bibi stands out for its detailed technique and social commentary. Overall, the miniature works engage viewers through their meticulous craftsmanship, structured album formats, and refined exhibition presentation.

Murtaza Jafri’s pencil sketches rely on minimal line work and gesture drawing, capturing posture, weight and mood. The sketched figures sit in reflective inward-looking pose — shoulders curved, head slightly bowed — suggesting a contemplative pose. Ali Azmat’s DANGAL demonstrates his deep interest in Pakistani truck art and its traditional portrayals of the pehalwans [wrestlers] and their sport.

Masuma Halal Khwaja’s beautifully hand-woven textile collage reflects a deep sense of effort and artistic precision. With varied works, such as Sound of Distant Drums, Charlie Aur Hum, Adoration of the Magi and Similar Histories Different Futures, she invites the viewer to perceive the work through multiple perspectives.

Khalil Chishti, who is based in New York, explores human conditions, societal issues and his personal narrative through an iron calligraphy installation. A War of Narratives, an encaustic-on-board work by the Canada-based Amin Rehman, offers a strong commentary on neo-colonialism, political turmoil and aggressive globalisation, raising critical questions about human sufferings.

The widely painted theme of Saint Veronica offering her veil to Christ has long symbolised devotion and empathy. In Optimistic 2, R.M. Naeem reinterprets this theme on a personal level, reflecting his longing for his wife, who moved abroad for studies. The towel-like cloth echoes the idea of symbolic presence, while the child — represented through a toy — signifies his care and affection for their young child.

Ultimately, the Triennale not only showcased the rich diversity of artistic voices but also reaffirmed Lahore’s position as a thriving hub of creativity and dialogue.

The NCA Triennale was on display at the National College of Arts, Lahore from October 31-November 30, 2025

The writer is an art critic, fine artist and educationist based in Lahore. She can be reached at ayeshamajeed2015@gmail.com

Published in Dawn, EOS, November 30th, 2025

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